CambridgeToday received the following letter in response to a social media post by Coun. Adam Cooper that followed President Trump's decision to recognize only two genders.
Dear Adam Cooper,
As a parent living in Cambridge, I feel compelled to respond to your recent Facebook post, which depicted a person screaming with the caption, “He took my pronouns! I have to live in reality now!” in reference to the United States government’s decision to legally recognize only two sexes.
Your follow-up statement, asserting your opposition to legislated speech and clarifying that your post was not directed at any particular group, did little to address the harm caused by your words.
I moved to Cambridge because of its reputation as a kind, welcoming community—one where my family, including my children in the LGBTQ2S+ community, could feel safe and valued. That safety has always felt tenuous for people in the LGBTQ2S+ community. Your post and the rhetoric it embodies are a stark reminder of why.
Transgender people and those raising or supporting transgender children, like myself, know intimately the cost of living in a world that often fails to understand them. They are not living in some imagined “fantasy,” as your post seems to suggest.
They live every day in a reality that demands more courage, resilience, and self-awareness than many will ever have to muster. They are parents, teachers, workers, neighbours—and constituents.
You hold a position of public trust. Your words, whether shared on a private account or a public forum, carry weight. They shape perceptions. They have the power to uplift or diminish, to include or to exclude.
When you reduce complex, deeply personal aspects of someone’s identity to a joke, it not only dehumanizes them but also emboldens others to do the same.
You may not have intended to target any particular group, but intention does not negate impact. Your words harm. They hurt people. They hurt children like my own, who are already navigating a world that often denies them dignity.
Posts like yours send a clear message: that their identities are up for public ridicule, that their reality can be dismissed with a punchline.
Cambridge is home to people of many identities and beliefs. Surely, as a councillor, you must recognize the importance of fostering a community where all feel welcome and valued.
You say your stance is about free speech, but I urge you to consider this: free speech does not absolve us of responsibility. It is not a shield against accountability.
I do not write this to shame you. I write because I believe that leaders are capable of growth, that communities can heal, and that understanding can be built where there is none. I write because I want to live in a Cambridge where my children—trans or not—can feel safe, respected, and seen.
I hope you will take the time to listen to those who have been hurt by your words. I hope you will use your platform not to divide but to unite, to advocate for the dignity of all your constituents, even those whose lives may differ from your own.
Because whether or not you see it, people like my child are here. And they deserve more than your ridicule. They deserve your respect.
Melissa de la Haye (she/her)
Cambridge
